The New Year: Hair cuts, Ice, and Planes

New years this year fell on a Monday! New month, new week, new year. I felt like it was destined to be a good year, and so far it has. Cody and I are getting ready for vacation! We’re traveling to London, Paris, and Rome over the course of two weeks, but of course leaving behind our little ones is devastating.

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Our big girl has been asking for a while for a haircut, she wanted to look like Princess Sofia, and I finally convinced her dad to go for it. He really loved her long long hair, but I think the short bob looks amazing on her. It makes her look much older, which is scary. It blows my mind that our little is almost four years old, and this marks her (and her father’s) and my three year anniversary.

Meeting her three years ago was such an overwhelming experience. My husband’s father died, and he needed me – even though we had only met for a few weeks but I came down anyway. She was so small and so funny, I truly knew that this was really real that day. It changed my life, and getting to be your bonus mom, your ‘babe’, has given me greater purpose than I ever knew.

Anyway, I’ll save my sappiness for another day – this about the new year! So I’ve decided to make sure the new year is all about new experiences. I am going to work on getting into pain management for my leg and back issues from the car accident (long story but hit by a car as a pedestrian), I am going to focus on getting good grades all year long, I am hoping to be ready to buy a house, having new experiences, and traveling. I am also hoping to lose 15lbs to bring me to about 100lbs, I think that weight would be good for me, and my build.

So the start  of these experiences? I took big girl out to the ice skating rink, it was tricky at first. I could barely support my ankles considering the leg/pain damage. I wouldn’t recommend any of my fellow cane users (mobility aids) to try ice skating without consulting your medical provider. But it was fun, we got a crutch and Oli had an absolute blast. She’s very timid and afraid of a lot of things, so it took some convincing but it was amazing.

Little Lou stayed behind due to the fact the smallest ice skates they make are way too big for her, she had a grandma day. The next week we went ahead and went bowling with Daddy. Apparently he’s not totally thrilled with bowling, but the girls and I love it so much. I did the best (along with ice skating lessons, gymnastics, classically trained musician, swimming, dance, cheer, ballet, I also took bowling lessons), Oli did second, and Lou and Daddy did the funnest (haha).

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Our first two weeks of January have been so exciting, and I’m so happy to be sticking to my new plan. Now Cody and I are getting ready to go out to Europe. We’re leaving Saturday morning to spend the day in Seattle and then will be out and about until the end of January. I am so blown away by the fact that this is really my life. I am truly so blessed. I am deeply upset about having to leave out babies – but I know they wouldn’t enjoy the trip. Plus I’m hoping we’ll have time to sneak away to Disney Paris.

Later in August we actually already have tickets for us to travel out to New York for a week to spend with my family. I’m so excited for them to get to spend some one on one time with our littles. It’s sad to be so far away at all times, but I know it’s part of signing up to be a bonus. But we already have a lot of plans while we’re in New York and Pennsylvania. Maybe some Hershey Park in our future?

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Everything I Never Wanted

originally posted june 19th, 2017 – redirected

What a phrase, I myself as someone who struggled with gender identity and my sexual orientation for years have not once ever thought of marriage besides jokes about angry ex-wive’s/ex-husband’s. The thought for someone like me? Not real. I didn’t sit around dreaming of what I would wear or what I would do or even who I would be with.

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Our wedding for everyone who doesn’t know us, was intimate. It included our close friends, and those who might not have been very close but have watched us grow. It was in a beautiful local garden, on May 22nd at a really intense 88* (we wanted a not rainy day so I guess that’s what we get?). I had two of my closest friends as my bridesmaids, Cody had two of his and then our siblings. Olivia walked down with Kassidy and Tim, and I held her in my arms during our vows.

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Cody cried while he read his vows, both of us forgot to print them out and maybe the officiant called me the wrong name by accident (he called me Kendra because a few hours earlier he married a Kendra and Cody – go figure!), but it was beautiful. You held me tightly as I faced one of the harshest realities of my life, that maybe our family wouldn’t include everyone I thought and that’s okay

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Olivia and her little friend danced and our friends were such good sports about the games. Everyone loved our children and the whole reception was a blur. Our first dance might have been to such a generic wedding song but it felt so unique to us. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe how beautiful I felt in the photos, how beautiful I felt next to him. It just blows me away. I had a dream wedding.

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Marriage never seemed like something for me, but then again neither did you. Marriage was not about holy unity, it’s not about presents or bragging, it’s about celebrating our family. Thank you so much for changing my entire life.

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